This is not the beginning, nor is it the end of my life, my adventure, my story. I start here, in the middle, because I feel it is time to get back to blogging after a journey I've already been on that led me to where I am now - in life.
How I got here: I've been through a lot in my carnival ride of a life so far. I was raised Roman Catholic and was even an altar boy. I was a sweet, innocent child that didn't even drink until the age of 21. Part of the reason for that though was because of how I was raised. I grew up on a river, stepson of an abusive alcoholic, son of a wonderful real father that has integrity and decency, and son of a mother that cared for me a lot that had a special connection with me. She died however due to cancer on September 12, 2005. I miss her dearly. Every year leading up to my local Relay For Life, I plan to give part of my proceeds to the American Cancer Society. Growing up on a river taught me to respect and love nature. From there I moved, got married, and got divorced.
I was married again, a few years later, to stay married for almost 11 years, the last two years of the relationship living apart. I am now divorced and living in a somewhat rural area in Northwest Georgia, west of Atlanta.
After the divorce I could not afford the house wife #2 and I had bought, on my income alone. She made more money than I did and she quit paying the mortgage. The economy is so bad right now it won't sell. The market is flooded with abandoned properties. I found myself in a spot of trouble. I'm having to file bankruptcy to force the foreclosure. I detest apartment living so I bought 7.5 acres of land for cheap since property is so low right now, with the last of my cash, and have been living in a SHACK of an abandoned house, rebuilding my home bit by bit as I could afford it. But it has needed A LOT of work. A LOT. For a while I had no power or water. I burned firewood in the small fireplace to stay warm during the January and February snows as I was working on the house. I've learned to do everything from replacing sub-floors to tiling showers thanks to the help of a handy friend.
So here I was twisted by love and relationships, irritated by financial institutions, confused by my own guilts and fears and the overwhelming amount to be done, in order to get through the next phase of my life - moving and moving on.
I worked in civil engineering design and electrical controls design for years. I changed careers, worked in radio for a while, then went back to college for Communication. I got my Master's degree in it and have taught college Communication classes for roughly ten years. There're no civil jobs near me and the educational institutions are all laying off people due to budget cuts despite the growing number of students.
The Epiphany: As you can see, I've had quite the journey. But why do I tell you all this? Because I want you to know I'm much like many of you. We all face challenges. We all have rough phases of life. We all have difficulty sometimes overcoming the past. We all have hard times of depression and we all have doubts and fears of the present and what's to come.
And this time alone, spent in my barebones "nature retreat" has given me a lot of time to think and ponder on life. Through all the hard work I've put into this house and all the solitary days and nights doing so, I've really come to know myself better. And I've given a lot of thought to the events, people, and general nature of my life. I feel more in-tune with myself than ever before.
One thing I've come to realize is something at which I'm quite good. See, throughout my life I've always been clairvoyant. I often have day visions of things that will happen shortly thereafter. I've always had dreams that come true, or nearly come true (like accidents I warn my friends about, so they drive carefully on those days and have avoided near accidents). I am good at establishing connections with people - connections on a somewhat spiritual plane. Up until recently I often just dismissed what I did, the visions I had, the ways that I felt, the connections I made. But in the summer of 2010 I was with a friend on a trip to Colorado when I had my first in-person Tarot reading. And I knew if I learned this art I'd have a knack for it, given my natural clairvoyance.
For the first time in my life I decided to study the Tarot and read all about it. I was amazed at what I found. I was amazed to know how many people throughout history used this system - from the Christians (and notably even the Catholic Church), to Taoists, from monks to scholars.
See, the Tarot isn't some magical mystery (great, now that Beatles song is stuck in my head) that relies on superstition and myth. It is an art form and a skill that can be developed by those with the gift of clairvoyance. It is a system of interpreting seemingly random events and signs to form meaning in our lives. And Tarot is used as a reflective pool, to focus on our own lives, a tool to help us see what we've done, what we're doing, what we need to do, and who we truly are.
Since my Tarot reading I really got in-tune with myself, and finally woke up to the issues I was having in life, and what was causing them. And the Tarot helps me to see what to do in order to fix those things. All my friends and family, practically all my life (since I was about 10) have told me I have a gift. And I've finally realized it is time to share my gift with the world. Because we ALL deserve clarity in life. We ALL need to see ourselves a bit more clearly sometimes, and have what we can do to fix those issues, laid out in front of us. The Tarot has changed, and continues to change my life for the better. I hope I can help you change yours for the better too.
I made this blog so I can express my feelings, emotions, thoughts, frustrations, and rants, post my photography, document my journey of the Tarot and of life, and simply, be me. Simply, John.
Thanks for going along with me on this journey. =)
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